I usually do not let things get me down and depressed. Most of the time I can find a positive in a haystack of negatives, but lately, even that has become difficult. Money is tough on everyone and it seems that every time you try to get ahead, you get knocked back. We are in some financial stressors and all I can do is try to keep our heads above water and make the Holidays good for the kids.
There is not a more important time of the year then now for family and friends to forget their problems and come together. If we do not have the people that are and have become important in lives now, then what do we have? Christmas is not about the biggest gift or who out did who, but that is what it has become. When did we forget each other and the love that we share and that Christ was born and here is for all of us. We must gather courage, turn our problems over to God and share with each other.
Wayne and I had a fight for the past two days and it all boils down to that we are extremely stressed. Our stress level has caused our anger level to rise and unfortunately we have used it against each other.
Another stressor has been at work. The higher powers have said that there will be no prayer said at luncheons or supper and that we are not allowed to decorate with anything religious. Now last time I checked, Christmas was about the birth of Christ our Lord. I am not a very religious person. At this time I do not attend church because I have not found one that I am happy with in my community. I am amazed at the hostility that can be brought about by religion and two people that were friends, will no longer speak to each other because they have a difference of religion.
I do have to say that I started this blog before Thanksgiving and now I am finishing it after Thanksgiving. My parents, brother and grandfather came to my house for Thanksgiving, which is a big deal, because we are all scattered in different states. They have never stayed at my house for more than 24 hours and they stayned 4 days and it was great. I really miss my mother when she is not around. There is so much that we could do together and talk about and we talk on the phone about 3 times a week, but it just is not the same. I am so thankful for my family and friends. The little things make the world a special place.
I look at everyone and we all have our problems and issues going on, but we must lean on each other for support. I have a friend that does want any help and I can completly understand, because I am normally the same way, but I am learning. I keep telling him to let us bear some of the burden. Let us care for the critters. Let us help out with elderly parents. He must remember to take time for himself to, before things fall apart. I always thought that asking for help was a sign of weakness, but it is not, it is a sign of strength in numbers.
Be thankful for all that we have, because not everyone is as blessed.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Significant Others
I recently posted a picture of my husband and I and we were at Tallulah Gorge in Georgia. We went down to Georgia to visit my mother and grandfather and to get our certification in scuba diving and we suceeded. YEAH!!!!!!!!
My husband and I do not get to spend much time together, so we now had a whole week together with no kids. WOW!!! We always have agood time together and we work well together. This little vacation got me to think about relationships now and in the past. I won't give any gory details, but I find them fascinating.
I grew up in a household with a mother and father, they married at 19 and are still together for 34 years. My mother was a stay at home and my father traveled all over the US with his job. So in all, he was probaly home a 100 days out of the year. My father still travels with work and that relationship seems to work well with them. Mom and Dad love to seee each other on the weekends and then they are on their own. now do not get me wrong they had their ups and downs. Do you know someone like that?
Take my mother's parents - My grandparents got married at the age of 17, had 2 children and worked together in the same office for 50 years. They then retired and did everything together. My grandmother never got her drivers license. So when my grandmother developed cancer and passed it away, it was devastating on all of us, but it just about killed my grandfather. He had lost his everything. My granfather is only 74 and in good health, so he could meet women, but I do not think that he will ever develop more than friendship, because Grandma was his one and only. Do you know someone like that?
My husband and I met 3 years ago this January and it was a 2nd marriage for both of us. It was rough intially. We met because he was the cop that came to my house after an ex-boyfriend had strangled and beat me. We started seeing each other a month later and we were married in 9 months. His previous marriage had been over for about 11 years and he had a set of twin girls from that marriage (15 years old now) but he had dated a girl for about 3 months, they broke up and then 6 months later they met at a party and a little this and a little that and then she came to him two months later and said that she was pregnant. He moved her in so that she would have a good roof over her shoulders and he wanted to be there for the babies. She had twins, a boy and a girl. So when Wayne and I met, she was still living there, but he said that there was no relationship, he just wanted to provide for the children, plus it was cheaper than having to pay child support. Well lets just say that mine and her's relationship was rough from the start. Now we all get along great, but it wasn't easy.
Wayne and I work really well together and when we are apart alot and do not see each other, we actually fight more. When we are together we are very happy. Now my past relationships were not like that. I was extremely independent and I would see the guy I was dating when I wanted to and it usually boiled down to one or twice a week. Funny how we change...
I look at his parents and they have a lousy relationship. They do not share a bed, they sleep in seperate rooms and they are very negative to each other. Nothing ever nice, but this is how they work together. Do you know someone like that?
Divorce is never easy on anyone. The married people, the children and even friends, it is always hard to deal with. My first marriage was bad, actually it should never have happened, but I learned a lot. I learned about what I wanted and how I wanted to be treated and I was never ging to settle for less. Now everybody thought that I would never get married again, even me, but when my husband and I met it was like we fit together and that we were to each other that part that had been missing out of our lives. Do you know someone like that?
I have a friend that has been married several times. She always picks out the men that treat her really bad. They drink, they beat on her, they manipulate her. I asked her one time, why does she settle for that, when she could do so much better and her reply was that she did not think she deserved better. Do you know someone like that?
I watch teenagers all the time get married because they got pregnant and it is the right thing to do and in actuality it is the wrong thing to do. It is easier to jump into someone's bed and have a romp , then to make a relationship grow together when you are suddenly faced with a child, jobs and bills.
I tell my stepchildren all the time, that they must love themselves before they can love someone else and that they must now each other before they committ. Now I must state that I do believe someone ahould live with their significant other before they consider marriage, because a lot of little interesting things can come out...
I look at relationships all around me and I love to hear how they work, the pros and cons. Why do we settle, why do we strive for the material things, when all that matters is our family, love and truth. Did they get together for love or for money or for the prestige or because they got pregnant or because they are not ready to admit they are homosexual?
I challenge you to look at your relationship and others around you??? Can you learn something from someone else? Can you help them through something?
The key to ALL relationships is COMMUNICATION!!! You must talk to one each other. I am not a mind reader and neither are you.
My husband and I do not get to spend much time together, so we now had a whole week together with no kids. WOW!!! We always have agood time together and we work well together. This little vacation got me to think about relationships now and in the past. I won't give any gory details, but I find them fascinating.
I grew up in a household with a mother and father, they married at 19 and are still together for 34 years. My mother was a stay at home and my father traveled all over the US with his job. So in all, he was probaly home a 100 days out of the year. My father still travels with work and that relationship seems to work well with them. Mom and Dad love to seee each other on the weekends and then they are on their own. now do not get me wrong they had their ups and downs. Do you know someone like that?
Take my mother's parents - My grandparents got married at the age of 17, had 2 children and worked together in the same office for 50 years. They then retired and did everything together. My grandmother never got her drivers license. So when my grandmother developed cancer and passed it away, it was devastating on all of us, but it just about killed my grandfather. He had lost his everything. My granfather is only 74 and in good health, so he could meet women, but I do not think that he will ever develop more than friendship, because Grandma was his one and only. Do you know someone like that?
My husband and I met 3 years ago this January and it was a 2nd marriage for both of us. It was rough intially. We met because he was the cop that came to my house after an ex-boyfriend had strangled and beat me. We started seeing each other a month later and we were married in 9 months. His previous marriage had been over for about 11 years and he had a set of twin girls from that marriage (15 years old now) but he had dated a girl for about 3 months, they broke up and then 6 months later they met at a party and a little this and a little that and then she came to him two months later and said that she was pregnant. He moved her in so that she would have a good roof over her shoulders and he wanted to be there for the babies. She had twins, a boy and a girl. So when Wayne and I met, she was still living there, but he said that there was no relationship, he just wanted to provide for the children, plus it was cheaper than having to pay child support. Well lets just say that mine and her's relationship was rough from the start. Now we all get along great, but it wasn't easy.
Wayne and I work really well together and when we are apart alot and do not see each other, we actually fight more. When we are together we are very happy. Now my past relationships were not like that. I was extremely independent and I would see the guy I was dating when I wanted to and it usually boiled down to one or twice a week. Funny how we change...
I look at his parents and they have a lousy relationship. They do not share a bed, they sleep in seperate rooms and they are very negative to each other. Nothing ever nice, but this is how they work together. Do you know someone like that?
Divorce is never easy on anyone. The married people, the children and even friends, it is always hard to deal with. My first marriage was bad, actually it should never have happened, but I learned a lot. I learned about what I wanted and how I wanted to be treated and I was never ging to settle for less. Now everybody thought that I would never get married again, even me, but when my husband and I met it was like we fit together and that we were to each other that part that had been missing out of our lives. Do you know someone like that?
I have a friend that has been married several times. She always picks out the men that treat her really bad. They drink, they beat on her, they manipulate her. I asked her one time, why does she settle for that, when she could do so much better and her reply was that she did not think she deserved better. Do you know someone like that?
I watch teenagers all the time get married because they got pregnant and it is the right thing to do and in actuality it is the wrong thing to do. It is easier to jump into someone's bed and have a romp , then to make a relationship grow together when you are suddenly faced with a child, jobs and bills.
I tell my stepchildren all the time, that they must love themselves before they can love someone else and that they must now each other before they committ. Now I must state that I do believe someone ahould live with their significant other before they consider marriage, because a lot of little interesting things can come out...
I look at relationships all around me and I love to hear how they work, the pros and cons. Why do we settle, why do we strive for the material things, when all that matters is our family, love and truth. Did they get together for love or for money or for the prestige or because they got pregnant or because they are not ready to admit they are homosexual?
I challenge you to look at your relationship and others around you??? Can you learn something from someone else? Can you help them through something?
The key to ALL relationships is COMMUNICATION!!! You must talk to one each other. I am not a mind reader and neither are you.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Teenagers
My husband has two wonderful teenage girls and they are stuck right in the middle "of are they an adult or still a youngster". I would hate to be a teenager right now. The world is so full of uncertainity and they are growing up with so many bad things to tempt them. They know so much about drugs and so much about sex and life. I did not know half the stuff until I was in my mid 20's. I try to be there for them as best as I can. I try to relate what went on my life when I was there age. I explained to them about my rape when I was 13 and about the things I see working in public health and the things I see as an EMT.
I guess the part that has me really worried, is the fact that one of the girls has completly shut us out. She will not come to the house or talk to us. She has always been the daddy's girl and yet now she has shut the door on us. Her sister is very open with us and I feel like we have a good relationship, I thought that we all had a goodrelationship.
About 10 minutes ago, B called her dad and said that she had decided to come up. More than likely what happened is that her mom gave her a guilt trip. B says that she is only coming for one day and that we need to take her home on Sat. I love to see them but with gas the way it is , you just can not go running around constantly.
I guess it is a win and lose situation. I look at other people who have teenagers and some of those are completly out of control, so I thank God that the girls are not like that. My husband has been told several times by his ex wife that he is nothing a but a sperm donor and child support payee. That hurts his feelings, because they are his daughters but yet they are not. The child support system is crazy and very hard to deal with. I understand why some men just go into hiding, because it is so hard to pay. I hate that they abandon their children.
But our children are very spoiled in this day and time. I am not that old and I did not have half the stuff that they do. I had to buy my first car and I got a cell phone when I was 21, which I bought. Kids today think that it is all supposed to be handed to them.
Each and every day we must be extremely thankful for what we have, because at any point in time it could be taken away from us. All we truly need is a roof over our heads, food to eat, our health and our family. I often think that if we had things taken away from us as a society and we had to learn to act like the people did in the earlier years of the 1500's and such. How would society be today? My huge concern is the way the economy is now we may see a Depression tthat will make the Depression of the 20's look like a vacation.
I guess the part that has me really worried, is the fact that one of the girls has completly shut us out. She will not come to the house or talk to us. She has always been the daddy's girl and yet now she has shut the door on us. Her sister is very open with us and I feel like we have a good relationship, I thought that we all had a goodrelationship.
About 10 minutes ago, B called her dad and said that she had decided to come up. More than likely what happened is that her mom gave her a guilt trip. B says that she is only coming for one day and that we need to take her home on Sat. I love to see them but with gas the way it is , you just can not go running around constantly.
I guess it is a win and lose situation. I look at other people who have teenagers and some of those are completly out of control, so I thank God that the girls are not like that. My husband has been told several times by his ex wife that he is nothing a but a sperm donor and child support payee. That hurts his feelings, because they are his daughters but yet they are not. The child support system is crazy and very hard to deal with. I understand why some men just go into hiding, because it is so hard to pay. I hate that they abandon their children.
But our children are very spoiled in this day and time. I am not that old and I did not have half the stuff that they do. I had to buy my first car and I got a cell phone when I was 21, which I bought. Kids today think that it is all supposed to be handed to them.
Each and every day we must be extremely thankful for what we have, because at any point in time it could be taken away from us. All we truly need is a roof over our heads, food to eat, our health and our family. I often think that if we had things taken away from us as a society and we had to learn to act like the people did in the earlier years of the 1500's and such. How would society be today? My huge concern is the way the economy is now we may see a Depression tthat will make the Depression of the 20's look like a vacation.
Happiness...Horses
Happiness can mean so many different things to so many different people. Happiness can be materialistic or physical or mental. Happiness can be when you see your loved ones or when you talk to a friend.
My absolute favorite moment of happiness is when I am riding a horse. It does not matter what horse, because each one has it's own special qualities. I love it when you walk into the barn and that horsey smell hits you or when they have been eating grass and then come up to you and snuffle along your check or hair, although it can be very bad when they have been eating wild onions. I love to ride horses with my husband. It seems as if nothing can go wrong. You can forget your money worries, the earlier disagreement, homework, or work.
I have recently been trying to teach my two 3 year old stepchildren how to ride. This gets very interesting and very frustrating. The little boy still has a fear of the horses, where as the little girl has no fear. Most of my horses I trust but I have a few that you can not turn your back on. To see there faces light up with the enjoyment of being on the back of a horse is great.
I have always said that if I ever win the lottery, which I know that you have to play first, but anyways.... If I ever win the lottery I want to start a riding camp and farm for the handicapped. Physically or mentally, a child or adult will do nothing but benefit under the care of a horse. I would also love to use it as a school for juvenilles to help get there lives straight, before they are lost in the maddening realm of the world. They would be my help at the farm. Big, big dreams. I have seen first hand what a theraputic help a horse or really any animal can be.
I know that horses are big and scary, but when you get to know them, they really are just like us. Looking for companionship, love, acceptance, kindness and appreciation. We all seek that out everyday in some form or fashion.
So I ask that you go home and love on your critters and absorb the happiness that give to you and if you do not have a critter, well I will bet that you can find one that needs your love. My chickens love to see me and that is the most calming sound is to listen them cluck and eat and cluck. My dog and 2 cats come running to me and give me the most pitiful look when I have to depart from there presence. It can be heart wrenching...
Find your happiness...
My absolute favorite moment of happiness is when I am riding a horse. It does not matter what horse, because each one has it's own special qualities. I love it when you walk into the barn and that horsey smell hits you or when they have been eating grass and then come up to you and snuffle along your check or hair, although it can be very bad when they have been eating wild onions. I love to ride horses with my husband. It seems as if nothing can go wrong. You can forget your money worries, the earlier disagreement, homework, or work.
I have recently been trying to teach my two 3 year old stepchildren how to ride. This gets very interesting and very frustrating. The little boy still has a fear of the horses, where as the little girl has no fear. Most of my horses I trust but I have a few that you can not turn your back on. To see there faces light up with the enjoyment of being on the back of a horse is great.
I have always said that if I ever win the lottery, which I know that you have to play first, but anyways.... If I ever win the lottery I want to start a riding camp and farm for the handicapped. Physically or mentally, a child or adult will do nothing but benefit under the care of a horse. I would also love to use it as a school for juvenilles to help get there lives straight, before they are lost in the maddening realm of the world. They would be my help at the farm. Big, big dreams. I have seen first hand what a theraputic help a horse or really any animal can be.
I know that horses are big and scary, but when you get to know them, they really are just like us. Looking for companionship, love, acceptance, kindness and appreciation. We all seek that out everyday in some form or fashion.
So I ask that you go home and love on your critters and absorb the happiness that give to you and if you do not have a critter, well I will bet that you can find one that needs your love. My chickens love to see me and that is the most calming sound is to listen them cluck and eat and cluck. My dog and 2 cats come running to me and give me the most pitiful look when I have to depart from there presence. It can be heart wrenching...
Find your happiness...
Monday, September 29, 2008
What is our value of life?
This weekend was a rough weekend in the aspect of my EMT basis. I became an EMT-Basic and a firewoman about 2 years ago, when I joined our communities volunteer fire department. This can be a very demanding post, because you are always on call and you are a volunteer with your time, gas, etc... I enjoy it, but it is also very frustrating.
This weekend we had the death of a 25 year old male at 1:30 in the morning. It was pouring down raining and we arrived to a truck slammed into 2 trees. A young male was in the truck unconcious and did not have his seatbelt on. We got him out of the truck and started CPR. We all knew that he was probaly gone, but we must continue CPR until the EMS arrives and still continue until they say different. The unfortunate part was that the young man was extremely inebriated and no seatbelt. This was the loss of a valuable life that could have been prevented. The unfortunate part also was that he had just left a party that was about a 1/2 mile away.
That next morning at 3:00 am we had a man in his early thirties commit suicide and his wife found him. It hit very close to home because he was in the law enforcement area and my husband is a Sheriff's deputy. It was extremly unexpected.
That afternoon at 1:30 pm we had another suicide. This was a 71 year old male. He had been suffering from cancer and lived alone and basically decided to give up. Very sad.
We had another suicide in the community last week also. This gentleman had recently lost his wife to cancer and he himself had cancer. He was an upstanding member of the community.
These are all hard cases to deal with. As an EMT you learn to focus and not take it personally, but when you get home and think about it, it is hard not to take it personally. Why do we take our lives? Do we not realize how much pain and loss there is when one takes their life and leaves their family with nothing. A lot of people do not realize that when one committs suicide it voids there life insurance policy.
I have been in the position where I did not want to continue, but I am so glad that I did not take my life because I would not be here today. I would not have met my husband or have 4 wonderful step children in my life or be able to help people out with their different situations. I get to play with my chickens, collect eggs, take care of my horses and so much more. I get to see the sunrise and set, the storms pass through and make the drought brown grass into a deep rich green.
There is so much out there and I just want to reach out to people and say hang in there. We never know how soon God may call us to him, but we do not need to shorten our life. Live it and love it. No matter how bad it is or how bad it feels there is a way around it.
I feel like I can go on and on and on, but I will stop for now. My question to you is "How much is your life worth?"
This weekend we had the death of a 25 year old male at 1:30 in the morning. It was pouring down raining and we arrived to a truck slammed into 2 trees. A young male was in the truck unconcious and did not have his seatbelt on. We got him out of the truck and started CPR. We all knew that he was probaly gone, but we must continue CPR until the EMS arrives and still continue until they say different. The unfortunate part was that the young man was extremely inebriated and no seatbelt. This was the loss of a valuable life that could have been prevented. The unfortunate part also was that he had just left a party that was about a 1/2 mile away.
That next morning at 3:00 am we had a man in his early thirties commit suicide and his wife found him. It hit very close to home because he was in the law enforcement area and my husband is a Sheriff's deputy. It was extremly unexpected.
That afternoon at 1:30 pm we had another suicide. This was a 71 year old male. He had been suffering from cancer and lived alone and basically decided to give up. Very sad.
We had another suicide in the community last week also. This gentleman had recently lost his wife to cancer and he himself had cancer. He was an upstanding member of the community.
These are all hard cases to deal with. As an EMT you learn to focus and not take it personally, but when you get home and think about it, it is hard not to take it personally. Why do we take our lives? Do we not realize how much pain and loss there is when one takes their life and leaves their family with nothing. A lot of people do not realize that when one committs suicide it voids there life insurance policy.
I have been in the position where I did not want to continue, but I am so glad that I did not take my life because I would not be here today. I would not have met my husband or have 4 wonderful step children in my life or be able to help people out with their different situations. I get to play with my chickens, collect eggs, take care of my horses and so much more. I get to see the sunrise and set, the storms pass through and make the drought brown grass into a deep rich green.
There is so much out there and I just want to reach out to people and say hang in there. We never know how soon God may call us to him, but we do not need to shorten our life. Live it and love it. No matter how bad it is or how bad it feels there is a way around it.
I feel like I can go on and on and on, but I will stop for now. My question to you is "How much is your life worth?"
Thursday, September 25, 2008
First time Blogging
Today is honestly the first time that I have attempted this new blogging idea. Gee I guess that I am behind the times. A wonderful friend who has been a great inspiration in my life, has turned me to this, so we will give it a try and see where it goes.... Wheeeeee....
I honestly sit back and watch people and wonder what is going thru their lives. I stay so busy with work, kids, horses and the fire department, that I feel like I am not in the same realm as others. Then again, my life is busy but very limited also. Is that because I have chose it to be that way or it just has happened??? I used to go so many places and meet so many people and know my life has become focused on family and my little county in NC. Hmmmm...
I meet different people every day with work and I am always amazed at people and there lives. I try not to be nosey, but I think people are fascinating. How we think, how we act and how we react... The colors we dress in, the way we live, the home we live in...
I myself am a very down to earth person. I love to be outside, I love all kind of critters, but especially horses and chickens. I am not a materialistic person. I could be very happy in a log cabin, with no phone, no TV, etc... Now my husband, he is very materialistic and it is very funny to watch how we interact with different things and how we handle different things.
These are difficult times right now. Every day I struggle and I see others struggle and I wonder what the future may bring. I think we all wonder what the future may bring. This is a scary and very rocky time, but we shall make it through.
To everyone, I wish you a beautiful and fulfilling day!!!!!!!!!
I honestly sit back and watch people and wonder what is going thru their lives. I stay so busy with work, kids, horses and the fire department, that I feel like I am not in the same realm as others. Then again, my life is busy but very limited also. Is that because I have chose it to be that way or it just has happened??? I used to go so many places and meet so many people and know my life has become focused on family and my little county in NC. Hmmmm...
I meet different people every day with work and I am always amazed at people and there lives. I try not to be nosey, but I think people are fascinating. How we think, how we act and how we react... The colors we dress in, the way we live, the home we live in...
I myself am a very down to earth person. I love to be outside, I love all kind of critters, but especially horses and chickens. I am not a materialistic person. I could be very happy in a log cabin, with no phone, no TV, etc... Now my husband, he is very materialistic and it is very funny to watch how we interact with different things and how we handle different things.
These are difficult times right now. Every day I struggle and I see others struggle and I wonder what the future may bring. I think we all wonder what the future may bring. This is a scary and very rocky time, but we shall make it through.
To everyone, I wish you a beautiful and fulfilling day!!!!!!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
