Significant Others

I recently posted a picture of my husband and I and we were at Tallulah Gorge in Georgia. We went down to Georgia to visit my mother and grandfather and to get our certification in scuba diving and we suceeded. YEAH!!!!!!!!

My husband and I do not get to spend much time together, so we now had a whole week together with no kids. WOW!!! We always have agood time together and we work well together. This little vacation got me to think about relationships now and in the past. I won't give any gory details, but I find them fascinating.

I grew up in a household with a mother and father, they married at 19 and are still together for 34 years. My mother was a stay at home and my father traveled all over the US with his job. So in all, he was probaly home a 100 days out of the year. My father still travels with work and that relationship seems to work well with them. Mom and Dad love to seee each other on the weekends and then they are on their own. now do not get me wrong they had their ups and downs. Do you know someone like that?

Take my mother's parents - My grandparents got married at the age of 17, had 2 children and worked together in the same office for 50 years. They then retired and did everything together. My grandmother never got her drivers license. So when my grandmother developed cancer and passed it away, it was devastating on all of us, but it just about killed my grandfather. He had lost his everything. My granfather is only 74 and in good health, so he could meet women, but I do not think that he will ever develop more than friendship, because Grandma was his one and only. Do you know someone like that?

My husband and I met 3 years ago this January and it was a 2nd marriage for both of us. It was rough intially. We met because he was the cop that came to my house after an ex-boyfriend had strangled and beat me. We started seeing each other a month later and we were married in 9 months. His previous marriage had been over for about 11 years and he had a set of twin girls from that marriage (15 years old now) but he had dated a girl for about 3 months, they broke up and then 6 months later they met at a party and a little this and a little that and then she came to him two months later and said that she was pregnant. He moved her in so that she would have a good roof over her shoulders and he wanted to be there for the babies. She had twins, a boy and a girl. So when Wayne and I met, she was still living there, but he said that there was no relationship, he just wanted to provide for the children, plus it was cheaper than having to pay child support. Well lets just say that mine and her's relationship was rough from the start. Now we all get along great, but it wasn't easy.

Wayne and I work really well together and when we are apart alot and do not see each other, we actually fight more. When we are together we are very happy. Now my past relationships were not like that. I was extremely independent and I would see the guy I was dating when I wanted to and it usually boiled down to one or twice a week. Funny how we change...

I look at his parents and they have a lousy relationship. They do not share a bed, they sleep in seperate rooms and they are very negative to each other. Nothing ever nice, but this is how they work together. Do you know someone like that?

Divorce is never easy on anyone. The married people, the children and even friends, it is always hard to deal with. My first marriage was bad, actually it should never have happened, but I learned a lot. I learned about what I wanted and how I wanted to be treated and I was never ging to settle for less. Now everybody thought that I would never get married again, even me, but when my husband and I met it was like we fit together and that we were to each other that part that had been missing out of our lives. Do you know someone like that?

I have a friend that has been married several times. She always picks out the men that treat her really bad. They drink, they beat on her, they manipulate her. I asked her one time, why does she settle for that, when she could do so much better and her reply was that she did not think she deserved better. Do you know someone like that?

I watch teenagers all the time get married because they got pregnant and it is the right thing to do and in actuality it is the wrong thing to do. It is easier to jump into someone's bed and have a romp , then to make a relationship grow together when you are suddenly faced with a child, jobs and bills.

I tell my stepchildren all the time, that they must love themselves before they can love someone else and that they must now each other before they committ. Now I must state that I do believe someone ahould live with their significant other before they consider marriage, because a lot of little interesting things can come out...
I look at relationships all around me and I love to hear how they work, the pros and cons. Why do we settle, why do we strive for the material things, when all that matters is our family, love and truth. Did they get together for love or for money or for the prestige or because they got pregnant or because they are not ready to admit they are homosexual?

I challenge you to look at your relationship and others around you??? Can you learn something from someone else? Can you help them through something?

The key to ALL relationships is COMMUNICATION!!! You must talk to one each other. I am not a mind reader and neither are you.

Teenagers

My husband has two wonderful teenage girls and they are stuck right in the middle "of are they an adult or still a youngster". I would hate to be a teenager right now. The world is so full of uncertainity and they are growing up with so many bad things to tempt them. They know so much about drugs and so much about sex and life. I did not know half the stuff until I was in my mid 20's. I try to be there for them as best as I can. I try to relate what went on my life when I was there age. I explained to them about my rape when I was 13 and about the things I see working in public health and the things I see as an EMT.

I guess the part that has me really worried, is the fact that one of the girls has completly shut us out. She will not come to the house or talk to us. She has always been the daddy's girl and yet now she has shut the door on us. Her sister is very open with us and I feel like we have a good relationship, I thought that we all had a goodrelationship.

About 10 minutes ago, B called her dad and said that she had decided to come up. More than likely what happened is that her mom gave her a guilt trip. B says that she is only coming for one day and that we need to take her home on Sat. I love to see them but with gas the way it is , you just can not go running around constantly.

I guess it is a win and lose situation. I look at other people who have teenagers and some of those are completly out of control, so I thank God that the girls are not like that. My husband has been told several times by his ex wife that he is nothing a but a sperm donor and child support payee. That hurts his feelings, because they are his daughters but yet they are not. The child support system is crazy and very hard to deal with. I understand why some men just go into hiding, because it is so hard to pay. I hate that they abandon their children.

But our children are very spoiled in this day and time. I am not that old and I did not have half the stuff that they do. I had to buy my first car and I got a cell phone when I was 21, which I bought. Kids today think that it is all supposed to be handed to them.

Each and every day we must be extremely thankful for what we have, because at any point in time it could be taken away from us. All we truly need is a roof over our heads, food to eat, our health and our family. I often think that if we had things taken away from us as a society and we had to learn to act like the people did in the earlier years of the 1500's and such. How would society be today? My huge concern is the way the economy is now we may see a Depression tthat will make the Depression of the 20's look like a vacation.

Happiness...Horses

Happiness can mean so many different things to so many different people. Happiness can be materialistic or physical or mental. Happiness can be when you see your loved ones or when you talk to a friend.

My absolute favorite moment of happiness is when I am riding a horse. It does not matter what horse, because each one has it's own special qualities. I love it when you walk into the barn and that horsey smell hits you or when they have been eating grass and then come up to you and snuffle along your check or hair, although it can be very bad when they have been eating wild onions. I love to ride horses with my husband. It seems as if nothing can go wrong. You can forget your money worries, the earlier disagreement, homework, or work.

I have recently been trying to teach my two 3 year old stepchildren how to ride. This gets very interesting and very frustrating. The little boy still has a fear of the horses, where as the little girl has no fear. Most of my horses I trust but I have a few that you can not turn your back on. To see there faces light up with the enjoyment of being on the back of a horse is great.

I have always said that if I ever win the lottery, which I know that you have to play first, but anyways.... If I ever win the lottery I want to start a riding camp and farm for the handicapped. Physically or mentally, a child or adult will do nothing but benefit under the care of a horse. I would also love to use it as a school for juvenilles to help get there lives straight, before they are lost in the maddening realm of the world. They would be my help at the farm. Big, big dreams. I have seen first hand what a theraputic help a horse or really any animal can be.

I know that horses are big and scary, but when you get to know them, they really are just like us. Looking for companionship, love, acceptance, kindness and appreciation. We all seek that out everyday in some form or fashion.

So I ask that you go home and love on your critters and absorb the happiness that give to you and if you do not have a critter, well I will bet that you can find one that needs your love. My chickens love to see me and that is the most calming sound is to listen them cluck and eat and cluck. My dog and 2 cats come running to me and give me the most pitiful look when I have to depart from there presence. It can be heart wrenching...

Find your happiness...